Whistleblower / A Business Plan


WHISTLEBLOWER

I'm reaching an age (27) where the arc of my life’s vitality has started to plateau.

I've lost touch with the youth, I speak a dying language, and I'm accepting the unfulfillment of many dreams and the probability of several nightmares, including the decomposition of my body while still inhabiting it.

In the spirit of this new era, I've decided to take better care of myself: I eat a vegetarian diet, exercise regularly, and am trying to cure my 14-year smoking habit.

After vaping proved too cumbersome, patches and pills unrewarding, and herbal remedies ineffective, I've gone out and bought myself a whistle.

So far it's going well: whenever I feel the urge to smoke, like after a good meal, or if I’m drinking, or I want to feel connected to something holy, or if I’m crushed by despair—I just step outside for 5 to 7 minutes, survey my surroundings, and blow.


A BUSINESS PLAN

rent a roofless
double-decker bus &
offer tours around the city:

“everywhere I thought 
I had quit smoking
for the last time”


Drawing: Lucian Freud, Seated Man Smoking (1942)